This morning I delivered a mindfulness session at Loughborough Library. Afterwards I went for a really relaxing coffee with my friend Alison, she came to the session and then we had so much to catch up on afterwards.
Noah was with my mum whilst I was out. I knew she was pleased to be spending the morning with him and that there was no real hurry to get back. I really value my weekends with Noah as I work in the week and he is at pre school. Being apart on our days off is something that causes some conflict in my mind.
I remember when I first started to leave him when I went back to work. Every single time it tugged on my heart strings a lot and a mixture of love and guilt gave me a really strong pull to get back to him as soon as I could. To some extent that still happens but I have got better at dealing with it.
As he has grown up and we have left each other more regularly I have seen that he is completely happy on my return. This has allowed me to become more comfortable with leaving him. I realise, when I think clearly, that cutting short rare times that I have to myself is often a mistake. In actual fact we have some of our best times following periods apart because we are so pleased to see each other. That was definitely the case today, we had a lovely afternoon and really enjoyed being together.
So when I get those tugs to come home too soon mindfulness is the cure. I have become able to recognise the thought that urges me to rush home, as just that. Just a thought. Nothing that I necessarily have to act on. I have a free choice. I can decide whether or not rushing is the right thing to do.
Mindfulness is really amazing at allowing us to recognise our thoughts. We can learn to realise that they come and go. We can watch them come and go without feeling compelled to act. We can see things clearly and hold back when it is right to do so. More than that once the thought has passed we can enjoy ourselves rather than being consumed by doubt.
Nagging thoughts plague all of us at some time and on a whole range of issues. It might be relationships but it could be anything. Next time something has you in a tiz take a moment and slow down. Recognise the thought, and only then make a decision. You will be amazed at your ability to think more clearly when you have detached yourself from the thought by recognising it as such.
Come on a Revitalise session to learn more about dealing with difficult thoughts, getting to know your mind better really is the answer.