When we have been in our relationship for some time it can be really easy to take our partner for granted. We can fail to appreciate them and fail to value them as we should. If this goes on for too long then things can get difficult and it isn’t always easy to realise why things are going downhill. Rectifying the situation can seem impossible.
Although mindfulness is about living in the moment it also allows for periods of reflection. Every now and then it is important to step back and have a clear headed look at the way our life is heading. We need to check we are on course and that we are happy. If we carry on mindlessly without checking in with ourselves we can find that we have gone way off track.
If we look back to when we first met our partner this can give us some real clues in terms of how to appreciate, and if necessary, revitalise our relationship. Try to think what the initial attraction was between you and your partner. I asked Martyn this morning what he thought drew us together and he said ‘a bit of everything really’. At first I thought this answer was a bit of a cop out but actually during the day his answer has grown on me and I think it is about right!
Looks were the first thing as I approached him and asked him out on a date. His close relationship with his group of cricketing friends was attractive to me too because I really love my friends. As we got into seeing each other more regularly I really valued that we both spent plenty of time with our friends and doing our own hobbies as well as seeing each other, the balance seemed perfect. I could run lots of miles whilst he played an everlasting game of cricket!
And when I look at our life now, nine years on, I think it is still about right and that makes me happy. Yes, sometimes I nag him and wish he would be more tidy, less busy, or destress! But generally things are great because we give each other space to be ourselves. I still love how he looks. We both see our friends lots, we both have our own interests and hobbies. We enjoy our time together all the more because of the time we spend apart.
Once we start to notice the things that we once welcomed into our lives so keenly, we can start to appreciate them all over again. Just a bit of reflection and realisation really can make all the difference to how we view our lives. Once the positive thoughts start coming, they will multiply, that’s just the way they work.
Book on to a Revitalise Day and enjoy the opportunity to step back and take a look at your life. Get things back in balance and realise what is important to you. The sooner you do it the sooner you will benefit.