Today Mum and I went to see Noah in his Pre School Christmas Show. I was quite excited about seeing my little star perform!
As it happened Noah didn’t manage to open his mouth to sing a single word. He looked absolutely lost and slowly made his way towards me and clung on to my legs as I stood and watched. He didn’t join in with the show at all.
I used my lunch break to go and watch and so the plan was for him to stay at Pre School this afternoon. He was so tearful and needy that I just couldn’t force him to stay so he came home with me.
The whole situation left me with a difficult parenting situation. Mindfulness helped me to act in a way I was happy with.
If I am honest I was frustrated when Noah wouldn’t join in. He has been singing the songs for it for weeks and then today I couldn’t believe that he wouldn’t do any of it!
It would have been the easiest thing to tell him how disappointed I was, at the time and afterwards. Thankfully I held back and just told him that I loved him. If I had made him feel bad about the way he acted I think it would have just made things worse. He wasn’t feeling great and adding to that wouldn’t have improved anything for either of us.
Mindfulness really was to thank for that – it gave me the headspace to think the situation through before I said anything. I responded rather than reacted.
I had the presence of mind also to spot that he was going to want to come home rather than to stay. There was a moment where I made a decision that I was just going to ask him if he wanted to. I could see he was feeling a bit pathetic and I didn’t want to try and insist when I knew it wouldn’t be the best things for him. Making the decision in that moment meant that we avoided a whole lot of upset for both of us.
Parenting is all about making judgement calls. At times is really is an ongoing negotiation, what is ok, what isn’t? Children get very good at it very fast and you have to be switched on because you have to decide. Mindfulness has a great way of allowing us to be more decisive.
As we meditate we allow our thoughts to slow. This allows us to recognise our thoughts and recognise what state of mind we are in more easily. When we know our mind we make decisions more easily. It really does make an amazing difference to parenting.
Come on a Revitalise Day to clear your mind so that you can deal with your family challenges more effectively. If you do it well you feel so much better and life seems so much lighter.