At times we all find ourselves looking at other couples and analysing their relationships. We might think how happy they seem, how lucky they are, they always doing things together, perhaps after years of marriage or perhaps in the early days.
To be happy we need to focus on our own relationship rather than making comparisons. We should be counting our blessings.
Sometimes it can be the really small things that count. The offer from my husband to do the shopping or to put the dinner on for when I get home. Lovely gestures, but if we are not careful they go unnoticed and we forget to appreciate them. We all know how happy we feel when someone really thanks us meaningfully for doing something and notices the effort we have gone to. We too must remember to do this.
It works both ways. If you are mindful about the things you do for your partner, and do them out of love and care for them, you will be amazed at the amount of affection you feel towards them. Taking them a cup of tea in bed, de-icing their car for them. What ever you do, you will feel good about it if you do it with the right motivation. Your motivation must be feelings of love and care for the other, if you do it feeling resentful you may well slip back into a negative way of thinking and tension may build.
To get in the right frame of mind think of a happy time together, the sort of memories that make you smile when you think of them. Even mundane jobs can be turned into gestures of love if you take your mind in that direction whilst you carry out the task. Empty the dishwasher whilst turning your mind to your loved one, hang the washing out thinking about how much you appreciate them. It can sound a bit corny, but try it, you will love the difference. Rather than a chore, the jobs become an opportunity to focus on the person you are doing it for.
Generosity makes us happy. Giving to your partner can be a really good way to feel your love for them. It might be getting their favourite bottle of wine next time you do the shop, it might be running them a bath. Perhaps a massage. Whatever it is the act of giving will give you the feel good factor, as well as them.
It’s often the small things that count. Day to day, grand gestures are not always possible, or even appropriate.
So have an open mind and learn to love your life. Realise what you have got and appreciate it to the full. Make every moment count.
A Revitalise Day can get you well on the way to appreciating those things that are important to you, getting life back in balance and thinking about the way you want it to be. Don’t let your relationship stagnate, get motivated to really value what you have. Don’t leave it to luck. Look after those you love and they will look after you.