When the sun shines like it did today it can seem so much easier to take the time to pause and enjoy the moment. It is perhaps one of the most natural times to recognise and reflect on our own level of mindfulness. When you stop and enjoy the moment you find yourself loving life just as it is, a moment of true happiness. This is the perfect inspiration to become more mindful.
Today I had a lovely time with Noah, my two year old, and his cousins Ned and Florence. We went to the field where we keep the horses, they had a ride, set up an ‘assault course’, helped me with the jobs and then we went and sat outside the pub for a drink with the family. It was really lovely, I completely enjoyed it. I didn’t nag the children at all, they enjoyed the freedom to do their own thing and so did I. What made the day so great is that none of us were in a rush, there were no time restrictions, we were safe and therefore we had some rare worry free time. With nothing to worry about I wasn’t telling them what to do or trying to get them to do things differently. We were all enjoying the moment and none of it was pre planned so there was no expectation in terms of how things should be or could be better. Perfect.
So often in daily life our thoughts go to wishing things were different. It can be really small stuff and usually we don’t even realise that we are doing it. It might be that we wish it was a few degrees warmer, that it was Friday not Monday, that it was bed time not getting up time, that we had more time, that we felt less tired. Often these thoughts arise because we have expectations in terms of how our experience of what we are doing or how we are feeling could be better.
When we are looking after children it can really highlight this tendency to want to change things rather than to simply enjoy them. Do you sometimes hear yourself nagging them? We want them to hurry up and stop faffing. To listen to us more when we ask them to do something. To concentrate on their dinner so it doesn’t take forever. Look back and ask yourself, did any of those things really matter? Could you have enjoyed the moment more if you had just let go of your ideas of how things could be better?
Constantly wishing that things were different can cause a lot of mental chatter and can prevent us from enjoying the moment. You can clear a lot of head space if you can give up wishing things were different, especially all the things that don’t really matter. This thought process is simply a habit and we can re-train our minds to change if we want to.
Try noticing each time you do it. Recognising the habit is usually enough to address it. Each time you find yourself wishing something was different take a deep breath and think about the positive of the moment you are in. Appreciate the moment as it is. The more you manage to do this the more often you will value the situation that you are in and enjoy it just as it is. This will help life to seem a little lighter and you will feel a sense of freedom as you lose the restriction that your thoughts can bring.