Today Noah got of the school bus and he was SO CROSS!
One of the girls had bent his finger back whilst they on the journey. He was sure she was being mean and that it wasn’t a game.
As we walked home he just could not be nice to me. I asked him how his day was, what he had for lunch and how PE was but he was angry and just could not be nice. He pulled faced and hit out at me.
We got home, he had some food and calmed down and then we talked about it.
We came up with a few ideas for how he could handle it better and then he was happy again.
It shocked me at first when he was so horrible to me but the I was thinking about it and I realised that grown ups do this all the time.
If you have a bad day and a colleague upsets you, you might take it out on your partner when you get home.
If a friend upsets you then you might be grumpy with the person who then serves you in the coffee shop later on.
If someone drives badly and cuts you up, then later in the journey you might be impatient with another driver and toot at them.
So often we take out our mood on others – and often we don’t even realise we are doing it. And yet when people do it to us it can really upset us.
It would be much more effective if we could learn to tell the person who upsets us that they have made us angry. We don’t need to shout or hit out. We can just tell them, in a totally normal voice.
It really would help to express the emotion at the time. We would recognise it and have taken a step which would allow us to move on.
When we hold emotions in then our reaction to them can be more extreme when they finally surface.
The other thing to keep in mind is that on occasions you might be on the receiving end of someone elses upset. Stop and think – maybe you have done nothing wrong at all!