Last night we had my good friend kaya over to stay. We went out for a few drinks and talked and talked and this morning we sat and drank tea and chatted. Noah absolutely loved being with her and by the time she left I could see a tear in his eye as she said goodbye. He really warmed to her because she chatted to him and listened to him and she paid him lots of attention.
Kaya and I started our careers together. We both studied at Nottingham Law School and then did our training contracts together too. She lives in Leamington now so we don’t see each other half as much as we used to. When we are together we still settle back into our easy going friendship. I felt really sad to say good bye today too because I absolutely love her company.
One thing that stands out to me about Kaya is what an amazing communicator she is. Whoever she is with she is able to connect with them. Whether it’s a 3 year old boy or my 70 year old dad she just clicks with them. People always open up to her. We joke about it sometimes because whoever she meets they always seem to give her their life story very quickly, and in so much detail!
It got me thinking about why this is so and what I can learn from her, so here are the top 3…
1) Always be interested. When Kaya asks you a question she really listens to the answer. You can tell she is genuinely interested. She seeks more detail, she really makes sure she grasps an understanding of what you are saying. Because she puts effort into listening you feel valued. Start listening to those around you and see how much more you learn, you will be amazed!
2) Respond rather than react. When you are in conversation with Kaya she will stop and think for a minute. Not in a weird way but she doesn’t just leap in with the first thought that comes to mind. Because she has given thought to what she says it is usually worth listening to. Taking time to comprehend what another person is saying to you is such a valuable lesson.
3) Care about the other person. Putting your focus on the person you are talking to sounds really simple but so many of us are distracted when we are chatting to our friends. Whether we are checking our phones or looking at people around us it is so easy for your attention to slip. Caring about the person you are talking to and noticing the emotions that they are experiencing will make such a difference to the connection you make with them.
Learning from our friends is great. Spotting the things they do well and seeking to be more like them can really help your personal development. Staying interested in your friends whilst you seek to learn from them does wonders for your relationship because they then feel a deeper connection with you. So give your friends your attention, get listening and get learning, there in always room for improvement!
On a Revitalise Day you will spend time focussing on brain training activities which increase your focus and attention and give you the skills to improve all sorts of areas of your life. Whether you feel your personal relationships need some attention, or your work life could be improved through better communication skills mindfulness will help.
Our day retreats are held in the beautiful Leicestershire Village of Walton On The Wolds and provide an opportunity to enjoy a day of calm and relaxation. Learning some new skills at the same time is a real bonus and will leave you equipped to cope with anything life can throw at you.