In these days of texting and emailing it is so easy to become a Call Phobic. Sending a message is easy and quick and really useful for passing on short messages. They can also be great for a bit of fun or for flirting if we have met someone new and a phone call seems a bit of a scary prospect. A text allows us to hide to some extent. The trouble is that we get all sorts of ideas from texts that may or may not be true, we just can’t tell because we have no verbal interaction with the person.
When we speak we get all sorts of information from the tone of voice used by the other person and this can totally change what they are actually saying to us. Whilst text messages allow us to avoid confrontation they can sometimes lead to confrontation.
If a message is written in capitals it can seem AGGRESSIVE. Written in lower case can the same message can seem much more friendly. XXX on the end of a message can seem friendly but what about x or worse still if they are missing?! Does the sender no longer like you? If you are texting someone of the opposite sex then do you xxx /XXX or not at all?!
When we send a text we never know when the other person has received and read it and what they were doing at the time. Did you have their full attention or not? The amount of times we have typos in our messages would indicate that we don’t pay full attention to the texts that we send.
If we send an important message and get no response do we follow it up with a call or does that look over the top? If it was an important message from our point of view and the other person never responds we can get despondent, offended or upset.
Miscommunication can feed our natural insecurities. We can create extensive stories in our minds about why we have not had a response, why we got no kisses, why the message was in capitals. Most of the time the explanation is innocent. The recipient was driving at the time, they forgot the kisses because they were distracted, they weren’t great at using their new phone. There are all sorts of reasons why the message may not be as we hoped.
Doubt is one of the key instigators of mental chatter. We can make even the simplest of situations into a disaster. A mountain out of a mole hill. If we have sent a rash text in a moment of frustration we can be plagued with anxiety and worry for ages.
So when you enter into the world of text and email, think carefully about how it will be received. Write responses with care and not when you are distracted by other things going on around you. Be mindful of the other person even though you cannot see or hear them.
Sometimes picking up the phone and calling the other person can be a much better way to communicate. It can avoid long frustrating text exchanges which can fuel animosity. We get a real sense of the other person’s feelings as they talk and vice versa. As humans we want to have good relations with other but we are often easily offended. Being mindful about how we communicate can make all the difference to how our relationships develop.
Come on a Revitalise Day to clear your mind so that you can be thoughtful in the way you communicate with others. When we communicate well this can lead to better relationships in all areas of our lives. Sometimes it really is good to talk.