This morning I delivered a Mindfulness session for a group of teachers. It went really well, they all seemed to enter into it and I would have been left with that feel good state of mind, all except for one thing…
Afterwards I had this recurring worry about having upset a friend. I know her through my husband and so have known her for about 10 years. Worst of all I really, really, like her.
She walked into the session and I totally wasn’t expecting her to be there. I normally see her at cricket related dos and in the company of her husband and so she was totally out of context.
I just couldn’t place her, I asked her if she used to teach at my law school. TOTALLY WRONG. Random. Awful. Cringeworthy. I knew that I knew her but in the split second when she came in I just got it wrong. How awful!
I obviously apologised repeatedly and tried to explain but I still felt ridiculous – especially as I was there to teach Mindfulness. It seemed a totally mindless mistake! I would love to be able to take that moment back.
So as I left the session The thought of this moment kept popping back into my brain to bother me. Guilt and embarrassment were the main emotions cropping up. Not the best start to a Monday morning!
So when I finished the session I took myself for a coffee and I decided there was only one Mindful trick that would fix the situation. I decided I had to Call It’s Bluff.
So rather than trying to block the thought out I committed, whilst I was in the coffee queue, to thinking about the situation that was bothering me. Each time my mind wandered I brought it back. As expected my mind wandered repeatedly but for a few minutes I committed to refocussing on the situation.
Then after numerous diversions of my attention I eventually knew I could let it go of it and finally the feelings faded.
It totally amazes me how terrible we can make ourselves feel for mistakes. Especially if we think we have upset someone. The trouble is that most of us beat ourselves up – repeatedly. As though the moment wasn’t bad enough we replay it in our minds time and time again!
So if you have a moment that makes you cringe try the Calling It’s Bluff technique. It allows you a proactive way to deal with the situation. It puts you back in control. After a while the intensity of the emotion you feel will fade and everything will seem better.
Come on a Revitalise Session to learn how to get more headspace when a worry threatens to take your mind over. A few simple tricks could make all the difference and make life seem a little lighter!