On Saturday night Martyn and I went out for a pre Christmas catch up with friends who we haven’t seen for a while. I spent most of the evening chatting to the lovely twins, Chantel and Charmaine.
Chantel and Charmaine
We got to talking about body insecurities. It started because we were talking about being an identical twin and how that must impact on your body image. If you can see someone else with the exact same body and looks then does that make you feel better or worse about yourself?!
As I grew up I was self conscious about being tall. I am 5ft 11 and at times I have slouched to avoid towering over female friends. When I looked at photos I would always moan about being so tall. If I had grown up with an identical twin standing next to me I wonder if that would have made it better?
Thinking it through, i don’t think it would help. To be truly happy with the way you are comes from inside, from an inner contentment, not from drawing comparisons with others, even if they are identical to you!
I think talking about your insecurities is actually really good for you. When I told the girls about the way I had worried about being tall they were quite shocked and said they hadn’t even thought of me as being that tall. In exactly the same way I would never have noticed the things that bothered them.
Everyone has something about their body that they would change if they could, it is completely normal. Sometimes these sorts of thoughts can get out of perspective and worry us too much. If you worry about the way you look then mindfulness could be just the tool you need.
Mindfulness has certainly helped me to feel more comfortable with my height. I still avoid wearing heels because then I do feel like a giant but aside from this it bothers me much less than it used to.
Mindfulness helps you to take a better look at all sorts of things. When you are clear minded you realise that people see you as a whole. Think of your friends, are you critical of the way they look? Doesn’t their personality spring to mind rather than their height or weight or the colour of their hair?
There is so much more to life than worrying about your looks. If worrying thoughts do creep in then mindfulness helps you to notice the thoughts and watch them move on. The ability to let thoughts move on freely is great because it means you don’t get caught up on them. This gives you more time to enjoy life.
Come on a Revitalise Day to see how you could learn to handle your thoughts and worries in a healthier way. The day itself is a lovely relaxing experience and will leave you feeling chilled out and worry free. A great start.